My 80s Dream Toy Chest
June 30, 2008 | 2 Comments
You won’t find Cabbage Patch Dolls, My Little Ponies, or Barbies in this list. The following are some of my favorite toys from my childhood…
Etch-a-sketch Animator
The Etch A Sketch Animator debuted in 1986 - Possibly the coolest toy ever invented up until that point, and I’ve always been surprised by its lack notoriety among my generation.
The Animator featured a low-rez dot matrix screen and used two knobs for drawing along with several buttons to manipulate drawings. Animation - pixel by pixel…up to 96 frames of it.
I still check ebay for these sometimes, they don’t run too expensive:
Etch-a-sketch Animator - Etch-a-Sketch Animator on Ebay
Tomy Air Jammers
These were vehicles that came where powered via little hand-pump. I had one that resembled a VW Bug. I remember sticking the pump hose up my nose. I want to stick one up my nose again. Damn it.
Lego Space Set
I always loved Legos, but became a complete addict after receiving my first set from the Lego Space collection. I spent hours inventing alien dramas and dreaming about actually owning the parts to make the space monorail.
Years later I visited a cousin’s house and he had the full Lego SpaceLand set complete with monorails and more. My cousin explained he built only built it as a model and never played with it. I remember I wanted to punch him.
Lego Space Set (with monorail) - Lego Space Monorail Set on Ebay
Rubik’s Snakes
Rubik’s Snakes - I never owned these but would grab this over a friends house, hide in a corner, and play until it was time to leave. The mechanics of the 24 pivoting wedges completely fascinated me.
Rubik’s Snakes on Ebay
Article about Rubik’s Cubes, Snakes and other Puzzle Toys from Blifaloo.com
WikiPedia entry about Rubik’s Snake - Includes more photos.
MadBalls
These were just balls with grotesque or silly faces. I didn’t have any, and didn’t really want any as a child. But now, I think it would be great to have a collection of these…maybe for decorating purposes.
I had a quick look for these on ebay, and it seems that they are being re-released.
MadBalls - Madballs on Ebay
Speak and Spell
My Speak and Spell became possessed at one point when I was about 8 years old. It wouldn’t turn off and kept saying “echo, echo, echo” - I pulled out the batteries and it continued to speak…so I chucked it under a pile of clothes in my room and left for a couple of hours.
Speak and Spell - Speak and Spells on Ebay
Omnibot 2000
The Omnibot 2000 was the most advanced model in Tomy’s toy robot collection. Personal butler, friend, and cassette player all in one. Oh, how I longed for one of these.
Check out these 1984 TV Commercials for Omnibot: 1 & 2
Omnibots on Ebay
What are some of your long lost toys from the 80s?
Future Nostalgia
June 27, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Another great comic from one of my favorite site’s xkcd.com:
Clicky for more from xkcd.com.
Farewell Mr. Conductor
June 23, 2008 | Leave a Comment
I flipped on the news this morning, and along with truckloads of bad news from the Middle East, massive layoffs in Ontario, and the rising price of gas, I was devastated to learn that “America’s Fastest Rising Fool(e)” George Carlin had died. The brilliant standup comedian and social satirist was famous for his wit, pointed views on… well everything, and became infamous for his “Seven Dirty Words” sketch (WARNING NSFW !!!). He was the first host of Saturday Night Live, a Catholic Cardinal in Dogma (1999) and the “Excellent” Rufus from the Bill ‘n Ted movies. Of course Jess ‘an I will always remember him as Mr. Conductor from Shining Time Station. He’s ‘hangin with Buddy Christ right now… He was 71 years young…
The Man Who Laughs
June 19, 2008 | 1 Comment
Unless your the kind of person who avoids all media and technology (if so, I’m sorry, I know how tough it is to make dinner with just a mortar and pestle), then you’ve probably heard about Chris Nolan’s upcoming Batman movie titled “The Dark Knight”. A direct sequel to his 2005 blockbuster re-imagining of the DC comic character “Batman Begins”, the new flick has been all over the internet for a year now thanks to 42 Entertainment’s massive viral marketing campaign. Every production picture, every MOVIE TRAILER, every single scrap of information relating to the film has been devoured by comic fanboys all over the world. And now, we’re on the home stretch, holding our collective nerdy breath in anticipation of the coming spectacle. July 18th is so close I can almost taste the popcorn…
The reason for all this bat-madness ? Two simple words… The Joker.
The Caped Crusader will return to Gotham city to do battle with his greatest comic nemesis, a mass murdering, maniac clown played by the late Heath Ledger (in what may be his greatest as well as last role). Voted as “The Greatest Villain of All Time” by über-geeky Wizard Magazine, this grease-painted psychopath has captured the imaginations of comic book readers since his first appearance in print way back in 1940.
Bob Kane and Bill Finger modeled the iconic criminal after the actor Conrad Veidt’s performance in the 1928 silent film “The Man Who Laughs” (See? there’s a reason I gave this post such a lame title). Just like Veidt’s deformed character, the Joker’s face is always curled into a bizarre rictus grin, highlighted with bleached skin, red lips and green hair. Driven insane by his own freakish appearance (and a brain ‘fulla bad chemicals) he has terrorized the fictional Gotham City with an arsenal of comedy-themed weapons and schemes. Alas, the gibbering rampages of the “Clown Prince Of Crime” are always foiled by the equally insane vigilante hero Batman, and The Joker returns to a mental institution to plan his next bit of fun. This plot formula has been recycled for over 60 years on TV shows, movies and every other form of media that DC Comics could slap a bat and a clown onto.
1960s - The Batman TV Show
Suave 1960s movie icon Cesar Romero was the first of a long line of actors to don the Joker’s trademark greasepaint, pranking his way through many episodes on the original Batman TV Show. Opposite the cult icon Adam West’s cool and calculating Batman, Romero was a howling kinetic force and easily my second favourite villain in the show (Julie Newmar was first, fanboys love femme fatales in tight costumes). Famously, Romero refused to shave off “The Mustache that made me a star” and instead painted
white make-up over it… The Joker meets the Wolf Man.
The 60s were hard on the Caped Crusader and his giggly nemesis (must’ve been touring with the ‘Dead), and my beloved Joker went from squirting acid on children to dropping acid with the Riddler and acting like a goof. Who’s to blame for this stylistic 360? Like the teenage Che Guevara-wearing art-school dropout that I once was, I’m gonna point the finger at “Society”. The Conservatism of the 60s changed the comics and the media they inspired into violence, and reality-free bubblegum silliness. But hey! It wasn’t all that bad! Who needs all that brooding psychological stuff when things go “POW“, “BOFFO“, and “SPLOO” in Technicolor?!!
I used to watch the old Batman re-runs on Sundays while clutching my Batman lunchbox, absorbing every silly, campy minute along with all those microwaves. I was used to the darker, brooding Batman, and the sick and twisted Joker originally envisioned by Kane and Finger, but even though it seemed dumbed-down, it sure was entertaining! Later I discovered the Batman Movie (1966), the joys of the Joker on the big screen, and the epic battle between shark and man armed with Shark Repellent Bat-Spray !!!!!
1970s - The New Adventures of Batman
With the end of the Batman Tv show in 1968, and the advent of the Hanna Barbara generation, The Dark Knight went animated in 1977 with the short lived New Adventures of Batman show. The show featured the voices of Adam West and Burt Ward from the 60s TV show minus all the guest-star villains. An unusual addition by the producers, which I personally blame on too many Scooby Snacks was a magical impish character named “Bat-Mite” that occasionally appeared, flew around and generally annoyed characters and viewers alike.
Without Cesar Romero around to deliver his trademark purring and giggling, the Joker was given life by the veteran voice actor Lenny Weinrib (also famous for voicing the pint-sized anti-christ Scrappy Doo). The character was drawn to fit the late 70s incarnation of comedic crime; a more aquiline face and protruding jaw, the trademark purple suit was pinstriped and darker, and his hair was done up in a “Wolverine meets Satan meets a Flock of Seagulls… but green” thang. The laughing menace also gained a sidekick in “Giggles” the hyena, who was indispensable during a bank heist for his abillity to giggle and drool simultaneously.
Still more of a trickster then a serial killer, it wouldn’t be until the mid-half of the eighties that the Joker’s image in the comic book world shifted to the darker side of the newsprint. Thanks to writer Dennis O’Neil, artist Neal Adams, and seminal mini-series’ by comic giants Alan Moore and Frank Miller, Batman was changing… And with him his city, his adventures, and his nemesis as well.
1989 - Batman : The Movie
Only director Tim Burton could bring this new, darker Batman to life, and in 1989 the world “Got a load of…” Jack Nicholson as the shockingly unbalanced and violent version of the Joker that fanboys longed for. Half Freddy Kruger, and half Al Capone, this stalky lunatic wasn’t afraid to beat, deface, and tommy-gun anything in his way… Nicholson added two things the Joker had been missing; The physical intimidation of a man who could and would do anything, and the convincingly shattered pathos of of a man who enjoyed his own terrifying acts. This Joker wasn’t afraid of the police, or the Batman… He was just getting his kicks.
The climatic battle between the Bat and the Clown atop a Gothic cathedral will always continue on in a special corner of my brain. That moment during the epic struggle when the Joker whips out a pair of glasses and growls at the Bat, “You wouldn’t hit a man with galsses would ‘ya?” just to buy some time, is villainous gold. But, like all good things, even this clash of titans must end, and the Joker plummets to the street to become legend, and purple roadkill. The police gather around, but won’t touch the Joker’s corpse because it’s still laughing (thanks to a tape recorder hidden in his pocket)… So classic.
Like any good gangster, the Joker always had a sense of style. Sadly, without him the following three movies couldn’t hold a candle to the original (Tim Burton would leave as well after Batman Returns [1992]), and style took a backseat to campy nonsense from Batman Forever (1995) onwards.
1990s - Batman : The Animated Series
Thankfully, just after Batman Returns was released in theaters, The Animated Series was launched on public TV to massive critical acclaim. Utilizing Burton’s darker pallet of colours and a gritty, film-noir style, this new animated Batman had much more in common with Frank Miller’s comic Dark Knight Returns (1986), then the earlier New Adventures… TV series. The Joker truly came into his own as Batman’s arch-enemy in this series, occupying the villainous role in more episodes then any other character. The love/kill relationship between the two was deeply explored, with the Joker commenting many times that, “I’m the only one worthy of finishing the Bat!”
More than any other actor that had come before, Mark Hammel (Luke Skywalker himself baby!) voiced the Clown Prince of Crime to a perfect, megalomaniacal tee. This guy hissed, he giggled, he screeched and howled, and when he laughed that perfect psychotic laugh, he WAS the Joker. Rumored to be inspired by Cesar Romero’s laugh, Hammel’s cackle was as captivating as it was disturbing. But don’t take my word for it, listen to the man himself describe the Art of Evil Laughter.
2000 - The Batman
Honestly, I haven’t seen much of this Anime-influenced re-imagining of classic Batman stories (not a huge Japanese animation fan, dunno why), but what I have seen is very flashy and very….ummm… well, have a look for yourself.
This updated Joker throws tradition to the wind in favour of some kinda mash-up of Marilyn Manson, Oliver Twist, and George Clinton. His voice and laugh (courtesy of Kevin Michael Richardson) are deep and subdued, and his persona is more prankster then murderer. I guess kids these days aren’t after deeply troubled psyches and mountains of grinning corpses… now I feel old.
2008 - The Dark Knight
…And here we are… Counting the days.
From Cast Interviews and the maddeningly brief clips of Heath Ledger in the Dark Knight Trailers, it obvious the Joker’s gonna be a little different this time ’round. This Joker isn’t into tricks or treats, he’s into chaos and destruction on a massive scale. He destroys buildings, hangs from the window of speeding cars, and fires bazookas seemingly without knowing how to. And the knives… oh the knives.
Gone is the slicked hair, razor-edged jawline, and perfect makeup. This Joker shambles and stalks the night with long tangled green hair and peeling facepaint, as if he’s unconcerned how he looks at all. His trademark purple outfits remain, as does his flair for hitting the best lines (ie. “These so-called civilized people will eat each other… you’ll see!“). It doesn’t seem like chemicals are to blame for his grinning disfigurement. Long scars run from the edges of his mouth up to his cheeks, pulling his face into the trademark death’s-head smile. A new origin story maybe? Are these wounds self-inflicted? Could I be any more excited for this movie?
But why am I excited about watching this particular character above all the others ? Batman is the hero of the story, and obviously a better role model than a mentally unstable murderer dressed as a clown. Why is this unattractive, amoral character so appealing ?
It’s escapism I guess… The Joker represents the scary, violent, and hedonistic tendencies we all wrestle with in our lives. I’m no psychiatrist, but dark theaters full of people releasing freaky urges through the antics of a laughing killer seems pretty Freudian. Joker’s completely dedicated to having fun, regardless if his antics cause others pain or death. And while watching him, we’re having fun, because HE’S having sooooo much fun too ! We know Batman will save the day in the end, but until then the Joker will cause as much chaos as possible with us along for the ride!
Besides… Batman is so freakin serious all the time, we need someone to “Put a smile on that face!”… It’s perverse I know, but it’s true!
Heath Ledger’s tragic death after the completion of The Dark Knight has caste a shadow, as well as even more anticipation on his performance. Of the pantheon of actors that have portrayed the joker in the past, Ledger seems to have gone the farthest out to the edge to peek over, and bring his revelations back to us, the viewers. According to cast and crew, his transformation into the Joker was total, and his madness was genuine.
Maybe he who laughs last, will in this case laugh the longest.
Much Love.
Black Dynamite… Sucka !!!
June 10, 2008 | Leave a Comment
If like me, you’re a fan of 1970s ghetto-fabulous flicks like Shaft (1971), Superfly (1972), and Black Fist (1975), then you are gonna dig this. Director Scott Sanders is bringing all that blurry, violent, foul-mouthed, un-PC Blaxploitation madness back to the big screen with Black Dynamite! I’m not sure if it’s tribute or spoof, all I know is that bad mutha’s got a slick mustache and nunchucks… and knows how to use ‘em against the man.
And If you’re new to the genre, pimp on down to Blaxploitation.com to get the goods.
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