The Monks - Bad Habits (1979)
May 31, 2008 | 8 Comments
Tracks :
- Nice Legs, Shame About Her Face
- I Ain’t Gettin Any
- Out Of Work Musician
- No Shame
- Dear Jerry
- Love In Stereo
- Skylab (Theme From The Monks)
- Bad Habits
- Inter-City Kitty
- Drugs In My Pocket
- Johnny B. Rotten
- Spotty Face
Release Date : 1979
Label : EMI
Producers and Band : John Ford, Rich Hudson, and Terry Cassidy
For the longest time I was convinced that only I had heard of this particular album. The spoof-punk stylings of The Monks and their earlier folk-rock incarnation The Strawberry Hill Boys seemed all but unknown to my friends, relatives (thank god), and classmates. Even searching for online information on them now is difficult and the BitTorrents seemed strangely Monk-free. Ahhh well, who needs Wikipedia anyway ? Thank God for album linear notes, THE source for all your band-info needs !
Though I listened to the album’s catchy and hilarious track “Nice Legs, Shame about Her Face” in high school, it wasn’t until years later that I worked a stint as a bartender with a guy named Scott that turned me onto the album. I’ve still got HIS copy of Bad Habits on vinyl… I should really get around to returning it someday.
The album was the first of only two discs produced by the band, and features almost all of their best bits. Most tracks focus on simple, three-chord guitar tunes with a stylistic nod to late 70s power-pop-punk bands like The Ramones, Big Star, and the Jam. Of course the minute the vocals kick in, you know these guys aren’t taking any musical legacy seriously… the nasal, way-to-British snarling and childlike lyrics are instantly smile-inducing and totally “take the piss” out of all the aformented bands. These guys didn’t make an album to change the world, they were just having fun, and it completely comes through your headphones.
Drop your stylus like an atom bomb on this record ! “Johnny B. Rotten” is rockabilly/surf craziness meets The Damned, but with an emphasis on FUN FUN FUN !!! This song will carve out a small corner in the back of your skull and wait there until a month later, when crawls out into your mind and you’ll catch yourself humming the tune. Same with the totally infectious next track “Drugs In My Pocket”.
The swinging “Love In Stereo” is just bizarre. The melodies, lyrics and vocals bring such diverse comparisons to mind as Weird Al Yankovitch meets Duran Duran meets the more laid-back songs of The Offspring. Check out “Spotty Face” before you move on to Side B, the rest is mainly just filler.
Flip your record over, and “Nice Legs…” sets the party tone with Dylan-esque mumblings and shout-along choruses. “I Ain’t Gettin Any” keeps the tempo up with a fast, bent rhythm that’s reminiscent of The Clash. Plenty of hand-clapping and “Oi ! Oi ! Oi !” bleed from the end of track 2 into the more melodic barstool-burning “Out Of Work Musician”. Who woulda thought these guys could pull off a buzzsaw guitar solo !!!???
It isn’t all gold though, both “No Shame” and “Dear Jerry” are more filler that strays into the new, exciting and slightly-nausiating world of early-80s synth-pop. “Dear Jerry” actually sounds likes a sped-up version of a Phil Collins song, or maybe the Police’s “Roxanne”.
And Then there’s the weirdness that is “Skylab (Theme From The Monks)”… Wtf ??? I haven’t decided whether this song is the most brilliant piece of Sci-Fi/Western Ambient Cabaret music music ever, or a sick and twisted rip on Queen’s “Flash Gorden” soundtrack. It’s probably both… You should have a listen.
Despite making a great couple albums, the Monks disappeared into obscurity and were never heard from again by anyone other than hard-core fans (most of which hide in caves, protecting their mountains of discarded 8-track tapes). It wasn’t until just recently that I was finally able to make contact with other Monk aficionados. A couple of months ago I had dinner with my friend Jess and his dad, and I happened to mention a line from “Drugs In My Pocket”. Suddenly Jess’ Dad (himself a musician) began to chant the chorus in his gravelly baritone; “Drugs in me pocket, drugs in me pocket.“. Aha! A kindred spirit!
It would seem that the fans of the Monks are of a more cult-ish, underground variety and tend to avoid chat-room fandom in favour of nocturnal beer drinking and goat worship. Do not attempt to approach any of these strange and disheveled individuals without first listening to The Monks “Bad Habits” album at least twice.
Hey I just found a Bad Habits BitTorrent !!!
Much love.
Lest We Forget…
May 31, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Sometimes Nostalgia can turn to melancholy…. Even Stormtroopers need a hug now and then.
The Haircut Hall ‘o Shame
May 27, 2008 | 6 Comments
I have never sported the most fashionable of hairstyles, in fact, not only have I stuck to do’s that were uncool, they were usually a couple decades out of date as well. But despite some awkward first meetings, and hilarious Driver’s License photos, I never really thought that my “Surfer guy meets viking warrior at a Steppenwolf concert” haircut was a complete disaster. I like my long hair, it looks good, and I wash it regularly to avoid any Bob Marley-esque insect infestations. Rock on!
On the other hand, with the blistering hot summer express on it’s way, I figured I should probably get a trim just to keep cool. Nothing ruins a day at the beach like having a furry potato-sack sized wad of locks on your skull, causing you to overheat and pass out. So off to the barber shop I go.
“Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts“ - Jim Morrison
This sagely slice of Rock Music philosophy was echoing in my head as I watched literally pounds of my hair get clipped and fall through my peripheral vision to the floor. Man, it’s been a while since I had a haircut. I hope the barber isn’t taking too much off. I wonder if I could pull off Jim Morrison’s look ? Nah… probably not.
When all was clipped and done I felt relieved at how good it looked. I hadn’t lost an ear and I felt lighter and a tad more contemporary. I got thinking about haircuts and how scary it can be sitting in that adjustable chair, watching your statement of follicle style disappear and get replaced with… what? Jim was right; sometimes a poorly cut, or strangely-styled headpiece can really ruin your self image.
In just a couple of years, a certain hairstyle can go from cutting edge to cutting your wrists with shame, and the internet is the perfect medium to document the rise and fall of these gel-crusted abortions. I’ve thrown together a personal selection of atrocious hairstyles that had their fifteen minutes of fame, and then got buzzed just as fast, and the musicians, athletes and actors that sported them.
Next time you get a clipping that you think makes you look stupid, just remember: These people looked waaaaaaaaaaay worse.
The Greaser
Aka : The Ducktail, The DA, or the Duck’s Ass
Era : 1950-60s
Victims : Rebellious young hot rod enthusiasts who like leather jackets, loose dames, rock ‘n roll, and well choreographed dance routines.
Made famous by Elvis and the gyrating John Travolta in the 1978 musical “Grease”, this bubblegum badboy look was originally a rip on the “square” flat top haircut. The front hair along the brow is left longer and everything is combed from the back of the head forward to create a poof or curl sticking out over the forehead. It was maintained by constant combing and copious amounts of Brylcream, so much so that kids who had ‘em became known as “Greasers”. Stupid-looking AND flammable… nice.
The White Afro
Aka : The Wafro, The Man’s ‘Fro, Clown Hair, and “Holy crap, look at that guy !!!”
Era : 1970s-present
Victims : Prog-rock, folk, and disco musicians (what’s the connection?), NBA players, people who just woke up, and balloon animal artists.
If you see a black man sporting an afro you think “Wow, he’s a bad mutha”, but if you see a white guy with the same hairdo you think “Wow, he must be single!”. Looking just as silly paired with puffy tie-dye shirts as it does with tight shorts and roller skates, this iconic 70s style went from hip blaxploitation do to suburban don’t with the onset of disco and glitter body paint. Of course a rare few (last names Dylan and Garfunkel) can actually pull this look off, if you think you can too, check out Dethroner’s article on White Boy Afro Risk Assessment.
The Beady Wonder
Aka : The Stevie
Era : 1970s-early 80s
Victims : Blind soul musicians and pirates.
I had to include this one ’cause not only was Stevie Wonder’s birthday just last week, but he’s one of my personal favorite artists of all time. His hair on the other hand, during a period in the 70s was a complete disaster! Imagine Captain Jack Sparrow meets a Zulu warrior at a craft fair and you kinda get the idea. It must have weighed more than his keyboard! With all that jiving and head shaking that Stevie did on stage, you’d think there would be more bead-related concussions on tour.
The Mullet
Aka : The Rocker, the Ziggy, Hockey Hair, the Mutt, the Helmut, Chicago Neckwarmer, and so many more.
Era : late 1970s-present (c’mon you’ve seen them walking around at thrift stores)
Victims : Hockey players, country music stars, and people who use the term “innit?”
What can you say about the Mullet ? Everyone has at some point in their life come into contact with a person who has sacrificed their personal dignity on the altar of hardcore hair. Scary innit ? Revived by Ziggy Stardust and perfected by Billie Ray Cyrus, this ancient style atrocity has always been about “business in the front, and a party in the back!”. If you’ve ever awoke in a ditch after a college rez party without pants, a new tattoo, and a brown paper bag full of phone numbers, you may very well be pre-approved for a mullet, if so, register HERE. For the rest of us, we can only stare in morbid fascination at the hairstyle that is, and always will be F’ed Up Beyond All Recognition (WARNING : contains foul language and terrifyingly accurate portrayals of some guys I know).
Electric Dreadlocks
Aka : The Karma Chameleon
Era : 1980s
Victims : Boy George, members of Living Colour, George Clinton, and people who drop acid by themselves for “inspiration”.
Drugs effect people in different ways. Some people tap into a higher plane of consciousness and create beautiful art, others sink into depression, and some just sit around and giggle while they play with their own hair. Beads, neon coloured streaks and painstakingly braided locks are all hallmarks of this amphetamine-fueled cranial nightmare.
A Flock Of Seagulls
Aka : The Seagull, the New Wave, Pepsi hair, and the first sign of the Apocalypse.
Era : 1980s
Victim : Mike Score, lead singer of the synth-pop band A Flock Of Seagulls.
This is THAT guy…. with THAT hair. It’s been parodied on everything from Pulp Fiction (1994) to The Wedding Singer (1998), to the now-legendary “High School Hair” Diet Pepsi commercial. No-one knows how Mike was able to shape his hair into such a physics-defying monument to questionable taste… all we know is this : The planets have aligned, and the end is nigh.
The High-Top Fade
Aka : The flat’fro, the MC, the Nib, the Freshy, Kid ‘n Play, and the Eraserhead (mistakenly)
Era : 1980s-early 90s
Victims : Hip-hop artists, and everyone else who thought that MC’ing was a viable career choice.
This was THE haircut of the early rap and hip-hop generation, and everyone from Jay-Z to Heavy D, Kid ‘n Play, and the Fresh Prince of Bel Air had one, no matter how much they may deny it now. Even some women tried out the High Top Fade, like the scary, sexually androgynous Grace Jones. It was both easy to achieve and maintain. Simply let the hair up top grow long and the hair back around the neck, it all gets buzzed off (think the anti-mullet). Style it into an eraser-shaped cylinder and your ready to lace up your white Nike kicks with fat laces and beatbox your afternoon away. No wonder bucket-cap sales were so high.
Glam Metal Hair
Aka : Metal Hair, the Fountain, the Crüe Cut, and “That’s gotta be a wig!”
Era : 1980s-early 90s
Victims : Leather ‘n spandex-wearing heavy metal bands with tour buses big enough to house all their hair products.
What started as a revolution in loud rebellious music in the 70s became a degenerate neon fashion cult in the 80s. Heavy Metal music was swamped with bands like Winger, Motley Crüe, and Whitesnake who shamelessly traded in their leather jackets, blue jeans and lightning fast solos for tight spandex pants, big hair and power chords. And with so many bands cashing in on MTV exposure all at once, it became necessary for new bands to be more visually bizarre to separate themselves from the mob. Bigger, longer and
puffier hair became the goal of every front man, along with liberal applications of face paint and lipstick. Check out Twisted Sister’s singer Dee Snider for a lesson in “what not to do” for both hair-care and makeup application. Eventually the genre’s image and music became so inseparable that critics simply referred to the whole screaming bunch of ‘em as “Hair Metal”. Thank god Nirvana came along in 1991, to finally put the whole movement out of it’s lumbering misery.
The Unicorn
Aka : The White-Top Fade, the Ice Baby, or the Ice Pick
Era : Early 1990s
Victim : Just Vanilla Ice… I hope.
In a half-witted attempt to endear himself to black musicians, their fans, and most especially their fan’s wallets, faux-rapper Robert Van Winkle (aka: Vanilla Ice) adopted a fashionable High Top Fade haircut, and proceeded to pimp it into oblivion. Extending the front to a point like a Fauxhawk-meets-Greaser kinda thing and then shaving a series of racing stripes into the back of his head and neck didn’t make him or his music cooler, just silly looking. In the end, his passion for singing bad songs and looking like a doofus has stood as a cautionary monument to future generations.
The Coolio
Aka : I honestly can’t think of anything else you’d call this.
Era : Early 1990s
Victims : Coolio, Weird Al Yankovic making fun of Coolio, and just about every guy I went to high school with.
Hip-hop cornrows were never the prettiest hairstyle, but when Gangsta’s Paradise hit shelves in 1995, Gangsta-rapper Coolio proved that there is always new, and horrible territory to explore when it comes to hair. So many kids I knew in school adopted this insane “I just got outta bed and my dreadlocks are everywhere” style, that looking back at yearbook pictures can be a like re-experiencing a violent car accident.
Super Mario Pac
May 26, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Armed with a bubble-propelled FLUDD Backpack, Mario riffs on his legendary 1993 SNES adventure Super Mario World in this freely download-able masterpiece by Hermitgames. It’s classic, nostalgia-fueled platform loving with a whole new twist ! Much Love.
Vintage Robots, Pixels and Cultists Attack !!!
May 19, 2008 | Leave a Comment
A couple of quick must-clicks on the Blog scene that I ran across:
First is Wired Magazine’s visual tour through Seattle’s Science Fiction Museum’s new exhibit Robots: A Designer’s Collection of Miniature Mechanical Marvels. A selection of Japanese-made toy robots from the 50s to the 70s are presented with blurbs explaining their contribution to culture. No seizures, I promise.
Take some time to meet the Pixelians, an ever-growing collection of 8-bit-style pixelized pop-culture characters. They already know where you live, so you’d better pay your respects now.
Finally, The Publics Blog has a quick little post about the legendary Alamo Drafthouse Cinema and it’s dedication to the sunlight-hating vintage cult crowd.
Happy B-Day Stevie !!!
May 14, 2008 | Leave a Comment
It just caught the news on WGBO that today is American soul-funk legend Stevie Wonder’s birthday! His impact on music and social awareness is incalculable, and his discography of blues-inspired, synth-funk storytelling is timeless. Stevie’s appearance on Sesame Street shook me, and a whole generation of toddlers to a funky core we didn’t even know we had. I think I’m gonna throw on his Innervisions LP… Feel the love.
Prince Caspian Is My Homeboy
May 8, 2008 | 1 Comment
This’ll be a short one, I promise…
The trailer for the brand-new Hollywood re-whatever-ing of C.S. Lewis’ Prince Caspian has been all over your internet browser for a couple of weeks now, in fact the movie is now a week away ! For the interest of interest, I’ll offer you the trailer HERE !!!
It’s been three years since The Lion the Witch and The Wardrobe (2005) hit theater screens and re-kindled a new generation’s love in the land of Narnia. Not only did it do wonders of exposure for the burgeoning movie franchise, but it also finally put this legendary bit of children’s literature on the map for Generation Mp3 to delight in. If Prince Caspian is as entertaining and visually brain-scorching as The Lion… I’ll totally be going out as Aslan next Halloween (not sure how I’ll rig up the back end of the lion body, but I have plenty of time to figure it all out).
I can’t remember exactly what age I was when I received the complete Chronicles of Narnia book series for a Christmas present, but I do remember the care my mom took to lovingly inscribe each of the seven inside covers with nauseatingly mom-like messages.
Take a break from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air re-runs and Read Up On Narnia.
The seven novels by C.S. Lewis tell the complex and fantastic tale of the magical and temporally-impaired land of Narnia. The fourth book in the series (which was actually written second) follows the ordeals of four World War II-era English children who travel between our world and Narnia. Armed with stiff English upper lips, magical weapons, and a Lion (Aslan) who may or may not be Jesus (depending how you interpret the books) the children fight along side the titular Prince Caspian to save the land from the evil King Miraz.
Wow, confusing ? Don’t worry, it’s British Fantasy literature… and you’re getting off easy. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings books are twice as dense, filled with industrial-strength socio-political satire and characters that burst into song at the drop of a broadsword. In Narnia everything is delightfully light-hearted and fast-paced, characters rarely sing (’cept the lions) and the only completely confusing bits include Santa Claus. But never mind.
At about the same time I finished the whole series of books, my local public TV station began running a series of imported BBC movies based on (you guessed it) The Chronicles Of Narnia. The BBC made three flicks starting with The Lion… followed by Prince Caspian and the direct sequel, Voyage of The Dawn Treader (which will undoubtedly be Hollywood’s plan as well). Much like the equally-enchanting Box of Delights, the BBC Narnia series was a brilliant combination of action, storytelling, and the best 1980s-on-a-budget visual effects money could buy. If you loved the novels, or you get love-slapped by the upcoming movie, you absolutely HAVE to grab a bootleg copy of the BBC movie (or wait until public TV airs it again).
If you did happen to watch the ‘ol BBC movies, I dare you to not get nostalgic at this Youtube BBC Narnia Montage.
Remember, the brand new Prince Caspian movie will be in theaters May 16 (one week!), followed by the new Indiana Jones flick on May 22, so save room for popcorn.
Much love.
Insert Coin
May 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment
The enigmatically named Kevin W. has a work in progress over at Dipity.com that’ll interest anyone who ever played with their joystick in a public place (heh heh). Insert Coin Here.
It’s an interactive flipbook/timeline of all the major achievements in coin-operated entertainment since the 70s !!! Everything from the early years; Pong, Frogger and the infamous Death Race are in there, and modern arcade staples like Street Fighter and DDR!
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