How to Speak Hip
March 30, 2008 | Leave a Comment
The now famous blog-linked, and stumbled-on digital recording of the LP “How to Speak Hip” is a must listen for “English-speaking people who want to talk to and be understood by Jazz musicians, hipster, beatniks, juvenile delinquents, and the criminal fringe.“
Let it play in the background at your next happening and everyone will get hung up on it !
Lost America
March 28, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Troy Paiva is a brilliant time-elapse photographer with a unique hobby. Since he was old enough to see over the dash, he’s been cruising down the back roads and trucking veins of the western United States late at night, looking for inspiration. Snapping mind-blowing portraits of ghost towns, abandoned roadside vehicles, and shadows of the past, he’s compiled an online gallery of pictures and stories that is haunting, nostalgic, and fascinating… Journey into Lost America, and be prepared for weird vibrations.
How To Moonwalk
March 27, 2008 | Leave a Comment
I’ve been on a bit of a Michael Jackson kick lately. Over the last few months I’ve been introducing my kids to all the MJ vids I loved as a kid - it makes me happy to see them try their best to imitate the dance just like I remember doing with my friends in the 80s.
Of course, the most famous MJ dance is the Moonwalk (aka the Backslide), and I am determined to learn this step. I found some great tutorials on YouTube and here they are…get ready to Moonwalk:
This is a humorous tutorial…but also very thorough…if you can get passed the cheese, I’m sure you’ll understand how the Moonwalk works by the end.
Here is another decent tutorial for the Moonwalk and the Airwalk variation — The video is concise but easy to understand.
Ok. One more video to recommend — This guy has some good tips and I also like his commentary on what the rest of your body should be doing with the Moonwalk & Airwalk.
Some Moonwalking Tips:
You can learn too moonwalk in any shoes, but as a beginner you may want to start out with kicks that slide easily. Dance shoes would be great — socks will work just fine.
The tips of both feet should never be off the ground at the same time.
Start slow, and practice in front of a mirror if possible. If you want to perfect the move, video tape yourself for self-review.
Get walking.
Ten Things To Do With Afternoon Asphalt
March 25, 2008 | 4 Comments
It’s almost as if Spring gave in to a sudden and beautiful spasm of Summer this afternoon. The temperature soared, the sunlight took on that euphoric straw-gold color, and you could smell the prolific union of sirloin and charcoal wafting from every neighbor’s backyard and apartment patio.
The sun-baked asphalt of our apartment complex gleamed in this early afternoon roasting and a halo of dust played in the air just above it’s cracked and grass-encroached surface. Man, it felt like July and I was six or seven years old again. Everyone in our neighborhood would spend a day like today with their garage doors wide open and their radios echoing down our crooked little street. Parents would be cutting grass, washing their cars, setting up garden sprinklers, anything to be outside in such glorious weather… and the kids ? They would claim the sidewalks, the ditches, streets, and driveways as their own domain.
Back then we were an army of short-shorts-wearing savages with striped socks and “Hulkamania” tank tops, stalking the block for entertainment. Running, jumping, skating, playing games, laughing, and skinning our knees. An afternoon would seem like a lifetime of adventure and accomplishment before the sky darkened and mom called us in for dinner.
There were a million things my adolescent mind could do with a sunny afternoon and an empty driveway. Here’s just a tiny portion of the summer pavement pleasures that went on in my, and everyone else’s neighborhood back in the day:
Hopscotch
Requires : White chalk.
It’s the classic schoolyard time-waster transposed onto the driveway. All you need is a steady hand and a rudimentary grasp of basic arithmetic. Don’t let a friend with long arms or poor depth perception draw the squares or you might pull a groin muscle on the scissor jumps. Ouch.
Marbles
Requires : A bag of marbles and a couple patsies….errrr.. friends who also have marbles.
I remember the days before Pogs, or Magic: The Gathering cards or whatever these rip-chord spinning battle toy things are called. Back when kids collected glass beads with little bits of mysterious coloured something-or-other inside and gathered together to “knuckle-down” and bash ‘em together by shooting them off their thumbs. If you were a particularly cocky kid (guilty!) you’d play for “keepsies” by pooling you and your friend’s marbles together and drawing a circle. Everyone would take turns shooting, and whatever marbles you knocked out, you kept. A savage and ancient ritual of might makes right.
Double Dutch
Requires : Two long skipping ropes, and a horde of agile friends.
While the boys were off playing war in the ditch or trying to procure another net for ball hockey, the girls would break out the skipping ropes. Two people would swing the ropes in a simple pattern while others jumped in and out. It was fun, fast-paced, exausting, and mercilessly punishing to the un-coordinated.
Check out THESE CLIPS from the annual Double Dutch competition at the legendary Apollo Theater in Harlem, NYC.
Chalk Art
Requires : Different coloured chalk.
The black canvas of asphalt beckons the budding artist’s colourful imagination. You can create the most amazing pictures with chalk, and can even blend colours and create depth with the careful application of a slightly damp cloth. I might have grown into a productive street artist if I’d played with more chalk as a child. George Orwell once wrote that “Skreevers” (chalk artists) are higher and more respected than “Moochers” (bums).
Playing with Insects
Requires : Morbid curiosity.
There was always one kid that spent his outside time hunkered down playing with bugs. He’d eschew all social contact to study those tiny lumps of dirt that protruded from the cracks in the sidewalk that contained thousands of ants. He’d poke them with sticks, trap them in jars, feed them sugar cubes, and use them to scare away girls. Was it an early sign of unhealthy pre-occupations ? Maybe a cry for help ? I dunno… but just to be safe, we hid dad’s magnifying glass.
Bubbles
Requires : A long loop of string tied to a stick and a bucket of water with a ton of dishwashing liquid thrown in.
It’s time to blow bubbles !!! Now I’m not talking about the little bubbles that you dip in the little jar and blow, or the one’s they have now that you shoot from a super-soaker, I mean HUGE bubbles ! Dip the length of sting into the soapy water and swing the stick. As the string is drawn through the air it should open and form looooooong bubbles. For more info go HERE.
Once the bubble making ends, everyone is covered in a sticky soap-scum, but never fear ! You can follow-up with out next activity to clean everyone off and still have fun;
Water Fight
Requires : Balloons, buckets, water hoses, and access to spigots for refilling.
Water guns are for wimps !!! Full-scale water wars could errupt at any time on my block, usually ignited by a car wash scenario gone wrong. Fill you balloons as fast as you can and keep your head down ! A group of well-trained balloonadiers could totally take one person armed with a water hose, you just had to have a plan. Unless that one person was my mom, for some reason, she was the fiercest water warrior in the family, and became Rambo with an adjustable nozzle and a length of hose at her disposal.
Of course the true test of a warrior came down to mano-a-mano with just water balloons. The master can actually catch a thrown balloon in the air and huck it back at the attacker. Fire in the hole !!!
Four Corners
Requires : White Chalk and four other people.
This very Machiavellian game has deceptively simple rules. Draw a large square on the pavement and decide who will be “it”, this person cannot leave the square. The remaining four take up positions at the corners of the square and have to swap corners by the “it” person’s count of five. The “it” person can tag the others when they leave a corner, and can call others “it” if they fail to leave their corner in time. The secret to success, wait for one of the other players to make the first move and the “It” person to go after them, then dash for safety. Sure your best friend might be tagged out, but hey, sacrifices must be made… A great game for developing the minds of future big-business CEOs.
Sweet Jumps
Requires : scrap wood, a bicycle, a shaky grasp of physics, and a reckless dis-regard for personal safety.
Whether you owned a bike, a trike, a skateboard, or a box-car, you could never get any neighborhood cred unless you drove your baby over a home-made jump… Preferably in front of all your friends. Pieced together out of whatever was lying around at the time, these usually wedge-shaped spring boards were as fun to build as they were dangerous to drive over. We hardly ever got any sweet air, I guess our imaginations filled in details like that.
Street Hockey
Requires : Two goals, two teams of hockey stick-wielding children, one ball, and bandages.
How Canadian can you get ? This was the primary method of staving off boredom on a clear, hot summer day with little to no traffic on the roads. It was always a little bit contact-oriented (pushing, shoving and tripping were inevitable), and someone almost always got a slapshot in the private parts, but it was great fun and social event. You can play it with almost any number of people as long as it’s an even number. Gloves and jerseys are optional… Grit and determination are a must.
Watch out for Cars…. Much Love…
Good Bleepin Tunes
March 24, 2008 | 1 Comment
I know I’ve already espoused my love of those soldering gun-wielding geniuses over at 8bitpeoples.com in one of my recent “Quickies”, but I decided to upgrade this retro musing to a full-blown post.
I’ve been tripping the light fantastic to some very chirpy tunes lately. Some people call the style of music that I’m busting out to “8-Bit”, “Blipcore”, “Nintendocore”, or “Chiptune”. Basically it’s a style of electronic music that came from, or has been inspired-by video games. So no matter what it’s labeled as, you know it’s gonna be fun, and totally nostalgic.
Musical artists from all over the world congregate and swap self-made mp3s on websites dedicated to this lovably nerdy genre. Some of the content is original compositions created using 8-bit technology, like the aforementioned 8bitpeoples.com collective. Others use existing video game soundtracks and remix them using any kind of technology they want. Layers of electronic sound, Bootsie-esque funky bass beats, garage band riffing, or even full orchestral arrangements aren’t out of the question. The only rule when it comes to this style of music seems to be that the original game tune cannot be lost amongst all the new bells ‘n whistles. An essential part of the listening experience is to transport you right back into the comfy embrace of your family’s worn basement couch and first moment you heard that tune.
We’ve come a long way baby ! Can you believe it’s been 23 years since our ears first perked up to the infectiously hummable Super Mario Bros. theme ? You may not have played the game for eons, but you still remember the tune. Even now it’s bouncing around inside your brain isn’t it ?
Of course before Mario, came Space Invaders for the Atari, with it’s rhythmic, heart-attack-inducing bleeps that increased in speed as the creepy little aliens got closer to you. It wasn’t music per se, but it did compel you to mash that freakin fire button as fast as you could. They’re all around me !!! FIRE FIRE !!!
After Mario came the heroic fantasy scores from The Legend of Zelda and the “How did they do that with 8-Bits?” masterpiece from Final Fantasy. Both featured sweeping multi-blip harmonies that really got the axe-swinging Nordic blood pumping. Kind of like listening to the score to the Lord of The Rings movies if they were tapped out on a xylophone, or sang by Steven Hawking.
The plentiful sequels to Final Fantasy continued to expand the concepts and technology behind game music. The music for Final Fantasy 3 (six in Japan) was created in a succession of chorales and arias like some magnificent synthetic symphony, becoming one of the first truly immersive video game “soundtracks”. As long as I live, I’ll never forget the music that accompanied FF3’s psychotic antagonist Kefka every time he sauntered onto my TV screen… He was made of pixels, and only an inch tall, but when that evil calliope tune hit, and grew into a cacophony of chaos, I knew he was truly the Antichrist… and I was afraid.
And what about the pulsing techno-trance of the Megaman series ? The blue bomber raved through something like eight games without missing a single Oakenfold-esque beat, and I was right beside him, glow sticks in hand. Megaman 2 had especially inspiring music, featuring the now internet-famous remix of the Metalman stage seen here (watch your volume, the bass gets a little funny).
Nowadays video game soundtracks are big business. Multi-million dollar audio franchises like Half-Life, Gears Of War and Halo employ entire symphonies on the scale of major motion pictures. Soundtracks are now sold independently of the game itself, leading one to wonder when the collected Adventures of Lolo double CD set is gonna be released.
Anyway, the old-fashioned 8-Bit stuff sounds better right ? I guess you can judge for yourself :
8bitpeoples.com - One more time ! I compulsively link to this site because it is essential to the re-vitalization of vintage video game music. All the content is original, and in most cases the technology used to produce the music is cannibalized pieces of NES and SNES technology itself.
Overclocked ReMix - The grand Vatican of video game music provides the tools, teachings, and raw materials to compose your own remixes of classic 8-bit tunes. The enormous international community of composers is constantly creating more music on a daily basis in every audio style you can imagine. They’ve remixed any game you can name, old or new, go ahead and play stump the musician.
SLAY Radio - Wanna go waaaaaaaay back in time ? Before NES came the Commodore 64, and the boys ‘n gals @ SLAY Radio remember it well. Vintage Blipcore remixes and more are pumped out of Sweden (what is it about that part of the world that breeds such amazing internet radio ?), and filtered straight into your frontal Nostalgia lobe.
A Brief Timeline of Video Game Music - For anyone looking to study the history of chiptunes.
So there you go, that should slake any vintage music enthusiasts’ thirst for pixelized groovage. I’m loving DJ Disco Dan and DJ Jimmy Da Leaf on Overclocked ReMix right now, they’re just so freakin dancable !
I’ll let you get back to your listening pleasure-session, but before I go… He’s a clip from the Video Games Live orchestra performing a series of tunes from Classic Video Games . Enjoy !
Much love…
Happy Easter !
March 23, 2008 | Leave a Comment
It’s early. I’m up making eggs, drinking coffee, and watching It’s the Easter Beagle Charlie Brown (1974). I’m loving Woodstock’s little 1970s shaggin pad.
Ever since I can remember it was my Easter responsibility to get up before my parents and scatter Easter Beagle footprints around the kitchen. I’d lay out the dishes, straighten the silverware and thread the napkins through those napkin-holder-thingies. Once I could see sunlight peeking through the kitchen window, I’d hop back into bed and wait till everyone came downstairs and exclaimed “Who could have done all this?”
Only you and I know the truth… so don’t tell mom…
Mapping the Nostalgia-Cortex
March 16, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Ever Wonder why the smell of roasted turkey gives you the warm fuzzies ? Why you run for cover when someone walks by wearing your ex’s perfume ? Smell induced memory is one of the most powerful nostalgic reflexes, and the geniuses at the BBC have got a bloody good write up on it OVER HERE !!!
Retro Parking-Lot Blues
March 10, 2008 | Leave a Comment
It’s a wet, grey day and I’m stuck inside doing dishes and watching Night of the Living Dead (1968). At least I would be watching, but I can’t seem to tear my eyes off this really 1970s-esque mini-van down in the nearby parking lot. Have a look ! I’ll bet the interior is either sandy beige, or pea-green… Tres Nostalgic.
Dolph Lundgren ‘fo President
March 10, 2008 | Leave a Comment
The Primaries for the United States Election are just finishing up… crazy… Fear ‘n Loathing on the Campaign Trail 2008… To bad the late Hunter S. Thompson isn’t riding shotgun with pen and sunshine acid in hand for this one. It’d be 1972 again man.
I’ve never had many strong political opinions, and I sure haven’t kept up to date on most US electoral campaigns . Heck, most of the news I receive about politics comes straight from the spittle of Jon Stewart on The Daily Show. Of course it’s hard to avoid all the publicity that this year’s US Presidential Election War has generated, and just like most of the drooling media addicts in N. America I’m totally drawn into the debate-fueled fray. I’ve developed no affiliation with any of the candidates, but I know each would be a sweeping force for change as President. In fact, “change” itself is the buzz-word for the whole electoral process in this race to the White House, and that’s got me thinking…
What kind of doors will this election open for future candidates that are REALLY different, that propose radical changes to the government and US policies ? Who could reform health care, protect the environment, and end war armed with nothing but a boot-knife and an icy stare ?
I’ll tell ‘ya who… One of my favourite Nostalgic action heroes Dolph Lundgren could !!!
Setting The President
I know what you’re thinking. Dolph can’t be the President of the United States because he was born in Sweden. As of right now that’s totally true, but hey they let Ahhhhhhhnold Schwarzenegger be a Governor and he’s a Cyborg !!! from Austria !!! In a future where robots hunt humans almost to extinction !!! So why couldn’t (with a little litigation) this square-jawed Swede work his way up to the Oval Office ? Jesse Ventura was a pro-wrestler before he became a Governor, and ‘rasslin aint even real. Dolph has a 3rd degree black belt in Karate, and wasted more aliens in his 1990 flick I Come In Peace
then Ventura ever did in Predator (1987).
If anyone is worried that Dolph’s campaign will suffer because of his thick accent, just listen to some of Schwarzenegger’s speeches… I’ve heard that young children and the elderly are in danger of having their heads explode if Arnold ever uttered the words “Space-time continuum” together in a sentence… True story.
Man Of The People (Domestic Policy)
Dolph has ALWAYS been a man of the people. He’s defended people of all races and political affiliations in tons of movies during the 80s and early 90s. He preferred using large-barreled automatic weapons and lightning quick fists instead of political debate, but he’ll adjust. He’s dealt with threats to national security in Cover Up (1991), and protected immigrants from ruthless overseas gangsters in Showdown In Little Tokyo (1991). This is the kind of guy you can bring the huddled masses to in times of need, and because he speaks five languages he’ll know exactly what take-out to order when everyone gets hungry.
Dolph would also maintain America’s firm hold on wholesome religious values. In the movie The Minion (1997) Dolph plays a priest tracking down the slaves of Satan and beating them into gooey smears with a spikey jesus fist. The flick is kinda like a combination of The Exorcist (1973) and Fallen (1998) with no budget for special effects. Also, in the movie Johnny Mnemonic (1996) Dolph played a hitman who actually thought he WAS jesus! How Republican can you get ?
Here’s a couple more little known fact about the Dolphinator. He’s actually got a master’s degree in chemical engineering, and was part of a highly trained team of “businessmen” who worked with Max Zorin in the 1985 James Bond film A View To A Kill. No stranger to dealing with big business, Lundgren is as equally adept at balancing budgets as he is at dispensing pain to evildoers…. Of course THEY were actually the bad guys in that film, and he was kinda more like a thug… and got beat up by Rodger Moore…. errrr moving on.
FIRE IN THE HOLE !!! (Foreign Policy)
When it comes to the affairs of a chaotic outside world, President Lundgren would be all action! in his Communist-bashing 1988 flick Red Scorpion, he clearly outlined his policy on how to deal with oppression in third-world countries. Kill. Maim. Blow stuff up. Helicopters, tanks and depth-perceptionally challenged soviets won’t stop Dolph from unleashing a hailstorm of bullets and democracy on the world ! And evil-doers won’t just fear him, but his highly-trained, zombie-like fighting force from the movie Universal Soldier (1992) as well.
Okay, so maybe violence isn’t the answer to the world’s problems, but I believe that Dolph is an avatar for freedom and would end terrorism if elected. Dolph Lundgren’s reputation alone would send tremors of terror through the hearts of terrorists in every dark corner of the planet. How you ask ? What could this blonde muscle-head possibly have done to warrant such a badass rep ?
He Totally Owned Skeletor
It was 1987 and a military coupe in Eternia had un-seated the benign government and replaced it with a dictatorship under Skeletor, an under-nourished megalomaniac who’d dark designs threatened universal freedom itself. Armed with nothing but a loincloth, golden shoulderpads, a big sword, and the future cast of Star Trek :Voyager, our hero Dolph Lundgren stormed castle Greyskull. He beat up about a hundred stormtroopers, saved Mr. Stickland from Back To the Future (1985), and single-handedly took on and defeated Skeletor himself in single combat while screaming “I HAVE THE POWER” at the top of his lungs !!! 
Now you probably think I’ve been rolling up and smoking the wallpaper after reading the above paragraph, but it’s all true, check out the legendary 80s geek-gasm film Masters of The Universe if ‘ya don’t believe me. Now I ask you, what kind of terrorist, dictator, or enemy to the free world is gonna mess with a guy that beat up an entity so evil that he’s got a skull for a face ? Granted it was actually just Shakespearian actor Frank Langella in a skull-mask, but that voice… That voice is pure evil man !!! Dolph saved the Universe without messing up his bleached wig, or getting any of that “Tan-in-a-Can” stuff on any furniture. That’s the kind of guy I want running the free world.
Either him, Ralph Wiggum or Christopher Walken… I dunno… Who are you voting for ?
Much love.
Visions Of Yesterday’s Tomorrow
March 3, 2008 | Leave a Comment
I just Stumbled upon Jason Bentley’s exhaustive post on Scribd.com featuring 100 Pulp Fiction Magazine Covers from the 40s, 50s and 60s. I can’t get enough of old Sci-Fi illustrations, and the camp-factor is high like Tommy Chong… and hit up this fantastic, yet slightly sideways Octopus Pulp Covers site too !
My fav line has to be “What evil secret made his death a living horror?” Freakin classic.
