Most Thrilling When Chewed
November 29, 2007 | 3 Comments
Each of us remembers our mother’s (or in some cases our babysitting aunt’s) stern warning of “I’ll clean your mouth out with soap!” whenever we experimented with a new word we heard from a friend, or in my case, from sneakin a peek at Scarface.
It was (for the most part) an idle threat, but it sure did sound awful didn’t it ? What could be worse than choking down a gob-full of Jergens? (even if it is sensitive on skin…. oh God… I’m such a jingle-whore)
Now, fast-forward to middle school, when one of your friends (probably the same one that taught you that dirty word) whips out a little cardboard packet and slides you what appears to be a harmless Chiclet, and you chomp down. BLARGH !!! SOAP !!!???
You just got a cheap Thrill. And you either loved it, or hated it BIG TIME !
Thrills were a type of chewing gum originally produced in the 70s by the Nestle-owned Wonka Candy Company. Originally they were widely produced in Canada and the states (now only in Canada). The fact that they were purple in colour, grainy in texture, and cheap in price seemed to set them up for after-school superstardom on weird-factor alone. Any kid under 14 had to try them… and most only did once…
You see, this particular brand of chewing gum had a very peculiar flavour, thanks to a very peculiar ingredient…. Rosewater. A flavouring agent used primarily in East-Indian cooking, it is usually used sparingly due to it’s medicinal-like aftertaste. In fact, rosewater’s number one application isn’t even an edible one, it’s as an ingredient in soap !
It was no surprise that soon after unleashing their creation on the public, the stigmata of “Ewwwww Soap Gum” caused sales of Thrills to plummet (to the anguish of Williy Wonka himself, who thought he’d finally be able to bump-off Cadbury Adams and his “Chiclets” Gum… I guess). It also didn’t help sales that the gum was notorious for becoming near-calcified in one’s mouth after only a few minutes of chewing. By the mid-80s, no-one was “Thrilled” with the idea of sandalwood-flavoured chewing gum anymore, so production was ceased.
Then, a company called Concord Confections purchased the right to the gum, and started to quietly produce it again in Canada with a new wrapper-style package that actually advertised: “Still Tastes Like Soap!”
They knew that there was a secret Kabal of us out there that actually ENJOYED the taste of soap gum. It’s part of our childhood man, taste buds linked to our nostalgia-cortex through a complex nervous system of long lost thoughts and late-afternoon memories. So what if the texture is a wee bit… um… unique after it’s been chewed for a short time ? A pack of Thrills costs little more than a buck. That’s a bargain !
So For those of you living in Canada, swing on by your corner convenience store and drop a wad of change for some Thrills. For those of you not of the back-bacon-eating persuasion, check out CanadianFavourites.com to order yourself a soap-flavoured time capsule.
Much Love…
We’re Grow-Ups Now
November 28, 2007 | 1 Comment
The site xkcd.com describes itself as a “webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math and language”. The site updates without fail every Monday, Wednesday and Friday — I wish I could remember to eat breakfast on such a regular schedule. So check out the site, and book mark it if you dig it.
The following is one of my favs by xkcd… a girlfriend this cool could possibly turn me gay:
This comic inspired me to add “Ball Pit” to my list of “Stuff I need in my dream house” joining a room made out of Lego, Omnibot 2000 for my personal butler + tape player, and a Velcro room.
xkcd is already ahead of me on the adult size ball pit… a recent post on xkcd’s blog/blag explains how he put together a nice ball pit with tips and tools for those wishing to try to create something similar.
You’ll need some spare change if you want to take on this DIY: an average room would cost about $4000 to fill up with an optimum amount of balls.
Check out this online tool that will calculate how many balls it would take to fill a given space, and a cost estimate. Spiffy 
Slowly working on collecting balls for my own future ball pit project, I picked up a bag of 75 balls. I did my own DIY and made some “Russian juggling balls” by filling some of these hollow balls up with a bit of sand.
If you <3 juggling, or want to learn — Russian balls are great as the sand makes the balls “stick” to the ground when they are dropped. And they are pretty good at sticking to limbs.
See image of the hacked balls sticking to my limbs whilst wearing a t-shirt by xkcd.Oh, and I am about to do something really cool.
– remember: we’re grow-ups now.
Top 10 Worst Comic Book Role-models
November 27, 2007 | 5 Comments
This holiday season, I’ve noticed the local Mega-Lo-Marts are stocked fulla Spiderman merchandise: figures, dancing dolls, spidey-themed monster trucks. And the toy that I would have gladly given my left kidney or little brother to own when I was a kid; The Official Spiderman compressed-air web shooters !!!
You hook them onto your hands and press the palm pad in a classic Spidey heavy metal finger pose and the wrist mechanism shoot silly string (you know, the stuff that you spay on the veranda for Halloween one year, and sticks around for next year). Strap on a Spidey mask and a pair of red and blue jammies and you aren’t just playing anymore…
You ARE Spiderman !!!!
Now predictably, parents are up in arms against this plastic-fantastic menace. Who wants their kids bouncing around the living room Christmas morning, sleep deprived, high on X-Mas cheer and Terries Chocolate Oranges while shooting booger-string all over the family ?
I can almost hear the screams of “I AM SPIDERMAN !!! DID SOMEONE CALL FOR A WEBSLINGER !!????” ricocheting around the neighborhood now.
I watched an interview on CBC with the spokeswoman for some “Parents Against Rational thought” group… or something, who spoke out against the toy. She labeled them as dangerous, impractical, messy (guilty on all three), and then went on to label the character of Spiderman to be subversive and a bad role model because of his fictional pretext.
Now, being weened on weekdays of after-school Spiderman cartoons (the original 1960s-style), I take a bit of offense to someone saying that Spidey is no good. Sure the toy is a mom’s worst nightmare, but to call Spiderman a bad role model is ridiculous !!! Of course he’s fictional, he’s a comic book character ! An archetype ! A hero ! Saying he’s a bad role model for being fictional is like saying Samuel Beckett’s Plays mean nothing because they’re about nothing !!! It’s the underlying themes and ideals that the character stands for that is important. Wow, I’m off on a rip now aren’t I…?
Off the top of my head I can name a zillion other comic book characters that could (and probably would) “subvert” an impressionable mind (worked on me). Now don’t get me wrong, I love comics, I’m a nerd, who aint…? And these guys are near and dear to me, but c’mon, they certain aren’t very good role models. In most cases, that’s whats so cool about them.
Top 10 Worst Comic Book Role-models
Number 10 - Gambit
“Suc Reh Bleau !!! I am le walking… how you say…? stereotype… ze poor writers no nozing about French peepoles so they make me talk like ze Ostrich guy on dat Dude Where’s Ma Car movie” On top of that, he’s also a petty criminal and a man-bimbo.
Number 9 - The Silver Surfer
This guy is like every father’s nightmare slacker son. He had a steady job that got him respect, and allowed him to see the Universe, working for the biggest super..ummmm.. repossessing company ever. But he gave it all up when he took a pit-stop at earth, for what…? So he could Surf aimlessly around the Galaxy, preaching non-violence and trying to “Find himself”. He’s like every pseudo-bohemian surfer-guy I’ve ever met, and he’ll end up just the same. Working at A&W when he’s 35.
Number 8 - Iron Man
Tony Stark is a millionaire playboy with more money than God, who, between bouts of serious alcoholism, straps on a billion dollars of space age weapons to play God and blast enemies into space-dust… Boys and their toys eh ?
Number 7 - The Incredible Hulk
The Hulk is Kermit the Frog meets Tom Sizemore.
A big, green, wife-beating time bomb ready to explode! A perfect poster child for a generation of high-school thugs on downers.
Number 6 - Captain America
Steve Rodgers was a scrawny little art student from no-where Alabama who wanted nothing more than to escape his menial existence by fighting a distant war for his country… Just like the WW II posters told him too. So the United States Government shot him full of steroids and sent him off to do battle with foreign invaders. His next assignment. Kill Michael Moore !!! The scary thing is, I know people like this. Know Them….
Number 5 - Spawn
This dude was a mercenary who was betrayed and gunned down by his former employer. He made a deal with the Devil to return to earth, instead of swallowing the vile, bloody soup he made for himself like a man. Unfortunetly, he came back horribly deformed and chock-full of neato evil powers. Deal with evil, get kewl swag… what a moral !
Number 4 - Robin
Oh where do I begin…?
He dresses like a dancer on the Color-blind Gay Rugby Player Association float at Mardi Gras. He spends his nights swinging around Gotham in what appears to be snake skin bikini bottom alongside a man in a bodysock that is twice his age. I don’t care if he did grow up in the circus, there’s weird, and then there’s Robin. But poor Dick isn’t fully responsible for his own flaming levels of freakishness, that falls on the veiled shoulders of our next failed idol…
Number 3 - Batman
Honestly, what rational person would deal with childhood trauma by becoming a ridiculously costumed control freak? His megalomania is so severe that he believes only he is capable of policing the sociopaths in “his” Gotham city. He is, in effect, deifying himself as “King Lunatic” among some dodgey multiple murderers.
He is so delusional that he spent his fortune developing an armory that puts MI6 to shame instead of effecting change and donating to charities that help people. All so he could contain himself and his psychotic super-villain friends in his crucible of lunacy. And why drag a poor, helpless, nerdy little teenage prostitute like Robin into all that…?
(Batman may be a poor role model for kids, but he sure is one of the coolest comic heros of all time ! Btw, I decided to go with the Adam West version here, ’cause I love the old Batman show.)
Number 2 - Wolverine
I know he’s cool, and Canadian and everyone loves him in the movies and everything, myself included, but Logan isn’t one of those guys that you’d point to and say, “someday Timmy, you’ll grow up and be just like that guy.”
You see, Wolverine has a problem. It’s pretty hard to hit someone so hard it knocks them out without putting them into a coma, so Wolverine just skipped that part of Superhero basic training. He decided it was easier to use his claws to save the day. That means every time he storms the super-villain’s lair, a dozen or so henchman’s families receive condolence baskets of cheese and marmalade. He’s got a murder count that easily rivals any villain, and yet we love his sarcastic charm and funky hairdo.
…And finally…
Number 1 - The Punisher
Frank Castle is the guy that makes Batman seem not only well-adjusted, but downright creative. The Punisher is basically the exact same nut-case as Batman but instead of creating an elaborate mythos of self delusion, paranoia and fear. He just went out and bought himself a big gun… Where Batman thought up all kinds of neat inventions to fight crime. The Punisher spent all his money on ammo and whiskey. He’s a manic-depressed, alcoholic, gun toting thug that lives in his van… All hail Hobo-Cop !!!
So there you go, a plethora of literary heroes on which disgruntled parents can sink their razor-sharp anxiety into. Maybe next time they’ll realize that targeting Spiderman as a corrupter of youth is like pointing the bone at Mr. Dress-up in comparison to some of these much more messed up (and therefore more interesting) characters.
Awwww who am I kidding, I’m just bitter ’cause I don’t have any Web Shooters….
Much Love…
Essential Kung Fu Movie List (1960s-1970s)
November 26, 2007 | 1 Comment
So you’ve got a quiet Sunday night off… yeaaah okay, that’ll never happen. Okay, you’ve got a few hours to play with and your getting the itch for Ichiban and good ‘ol Kung Fu. Slide on down to the local movie hutch and pillage the foreign and cult film sections for some badass flicks.
This is by no means a definitive list to Hong Kong Cinema, just a collection of some of the best and most influential (Essential Viewing) and most horrible and unintentionally funny (So Bad They’re Awesome !!!) examples of the Kung Fu genre. I have a special, demented place in my heart for the later group, a motley crew of cinematic chopsocky abortions filled with bad English dubbing, outrageous costumes, screwy plots, and… cross dressers…?
Lists are in chronological order. Most come from the 70s Golden Age, with a few from the preceding Wuxia-crazed 60s. So grab a couple rentals, or buy up some of the ridiculously-cheap multi-movie packs (you’ll find them in mega-marts at the bottom of the bargain bins), crack open a TsingTao or two, and call up Chan’s Chop Shop for a BBQ Duck delivery. Tonight is all about you, some brew, and a fistfull ‘o Kung Fu .
Essential Viewing
Way Of The Dragon (1972) - Revered by some as better than his next big-budget breakthrough role, Bruce Lee’s Way Of… features sooooo many memorable scenes (double nunchuks, Campbell Soup, The fight in the Colosseum, etc.) and sets the pace for what is to come…
And yeah, Chuck Norris IS your daddy.
Enter The Dragon (1973) - Perhaps the single most influential martial arts movie of all time.
The plot is simple and universal for the genre : Bruce Lee’s character (named “Lee”) is a Shaolin Monk chasing down the evil Kung Fu druglord Han, whom he follows to his remote island lair to compete in (you guessed it) a Martial Arts Tournament !!! Vengeance-fueled Jeet Kune Do madness ensues. Pure Saturday afternoon gold.
Invincible Armour (1977) - An excellent cross-examination of 70s Hong Kong fighting talent crowd into this one, bent on unleashing bizarrely-named Kung Fu techniques on each other.
No story to speak of, but the fight scenes are worth it !!! Besides, you’ll be too busy staring at Chiang Wang’s ridiculous wig to notice any of the silly dialogue.
Five Deadly Venoms (1978) - The definition of a cult classic !!! The entire Shaw Bros. stable of Kung Fu masters (who came to be known as the “Venom Mob” for their parts in this flick) hit the screen as secret members of a Kung Fu school of deadly animal techniques.
The last student (Chiang Sheng) of the dying master sets out to stop the remaining members from looting a secret treasure. Each guy’s got a different style of fighting, and a specific weakness. Great fights, great acting (for once), and Lucha Libre masks, let the mayhem begin !!!
Drunken Master / Jui Kuen (1978) - Jackie Chan comes into his own era of stardom playing Wong Fei Hung, a troublesome boy who enlists the help of a crazy old drunken master (Yuen Si Tien) to train him into a lean, mean, heavily inebriated machine.
Showcasing the famous Drunken Kung Fu style, which meshes perfectly with Chan’s wild, comedic style, this one may just be his perfect role.
7 Grand Masters (1978) - Jack Lung straps a basket to his head and travels across the panoramic Chinese landscape to battle seven guys in succession and answer the burning question deep in his soul… why is he wearing a basket on his head…?
Seriously though, it’s based on the exploits of an actual 19th century Kung Fu master. Studded with stylistic elements influenced by Japanese Samurai epics, this one’s flawless sense of aesthetics makes it a champ.
The 36th Chamber of Shaolin (1978) - Another historically-based action-extravaganza, this time featuring the hardest working man in Hong Kong; Gordon Lui.
A beggar-turned monk, Lui’s character (who is Cantonese) fight against the brutish henchman of the Manchu regime (a current of underlying tension in some Shaw Bros. movies). One of the first movies to popularize the “Training montage” used in pretty much every action movie that came after.
World of Drunken Master (1979) - A knockoff movie made in the wake of Jackie Chan’s Drunken Master film. Carbon-copy story and all !
What saves this flick from being total schlock is the great two-man fight scenes, and the documentary-style display of Drunken Kung Fu that kicks off the piece. I just can’t get enough of hard-drinking old men laying wastes to hordes of bad guys.
Fearless Hyena (1979) - Speaking of good ‘ol Jackie Chan, this one features him displaying his creativity for using nearby objects to fight enemies (a gag he’d incorporate into most of his later movies).
More of a handful of long fights than an actual story, it’s still worth renting to see a young, aggressive Jackie giving everything he’s got on screen.
Mystery Of Chess Boxing / Ninja Checkmate (1979) - “You killed my father, prepare to die !” Yeah… nothing new in terms of plot on this sucker, but great fight sequences always save the day.
This film’s packed full of talent, and memorable characters, the most famous of which is the evil (and rapper inspiring) Kung Fu assassin Ghost Face Killer…. oh sorry… Killah !!!
So Bad, They’re Awesome !!!
Shaolin Drunken Fight (1969) - Due to a little ‘ol thing like annexing their country and killing their women and children, Chinese people kinda had a little hate-on for the Japanese back in the day.
This flick aims to right those wrongs by pitting screaming Shaolin monks against evil, mascara-wearing ninjas. The result ? Whoa baby is this one a riot to watch !!! A plot so convoluted you won’t know what’s happening, and dialogue and special effects so bad you won’t care.
Master Of The Flying Guillotine (1976) - A one-armed boxer fights a blind guy that throws his razor-tipped hat as a weapon.
…
Why haven’t you left the computer to go rent this yet…?
Return of The Kung Fu Dragon (1976) - Imagine bad 70s Kung Fu meets the Lord of The Rings… kind of… This one is actually a Kung Fu Fantasy movie (another sub-genre), that deals with magical princesses and evil long-white-bearded sorcerers.
The effects are horrendously bad (no CGI back in the 70s) , the costumes appear to be made out of cardboard and felt, and there is this kid with pig-tails and a red nose running around like some demented Kung Fu Christmas leprechaun. Oh, and when the sorcerer plays with his rod in the opening scene, you’d better have a bed-pan handy…
The Last Fist of Fury (1977) - A Korean “Bruceploitation” flick that once again pits Chinese and Japanese martial arts against each other. An unintentionally funny piece of cinema, it’s fascinating to watch the fake “Dragon Lee” try so hard to be serious and intense while the entire rest of the cast seem to realize how hilariously doomed the movie is. Watch out for Samurai pretending to be trees !!!
Crazy Guy With Super Kung Fu (1979) - Universally hailed as one of the worst ever made, this one lives up to all the hilariously bad press… It’s unbelievable to think that these were the guys that did 7 Grandmasters and Mystery Of Chess Boxing.
Three guys called the “Three Donkeys” learn Super Kung Fu to bring down a local crimeboss called… brace yourself… Scarface. Strap yourself to the plot, and prepare to dive !!!
So you wanna learn Kung Fu?
November 20, 2007 | 1 Comment
“So you wanna learn my drunken style eh…? Well don’t be so hasty, being a drunken master aint no walk around the bush you know!“
- Chan Chi (World of Drunken Master, 1979)
With these words old Chan Chi begins the grueling training of his disciples in the ways of Drunken Kung Fu. Kick-starting the plot of another bizarrely entertaining piece of Hong-Kong cinema, and causing me to wet myself with laughter.
These little EMP’s of cinematic culture-shock have fascinated us Western audiences for decades with their insane blend of operatic melodrama, limb-splitting acrobatics, and Beatles-esque haircuts (yeeeeah I don’t get it either). See, back in the 1970s when you, me, and Quentin Tarantino were hanging out at the drive-in watching Vanishing Point, over in China a not-so-communist revolution was happening. Grindhouses were pumping out flicks that involved roundhouse kicks instead of fast cars. This was a world were all disputes were settled with lightening-fast martial arts combat set to unbelievably bad sound effects. And no matter how strange the plots might be, or how poorly dubbed the English dialouge, there was something intangibly fun and exotic about that whole krazy kung fu scene…
THE 1960’s : Wuxia-Mania !!!
The Chinese had been making movies about “Wuxia” (“Martial Arts Hero” in Cantonese) for years, but it wasn’t until the sixties Magical Mystery tour had rolled into Hong Kong that the foundations of the Kung Fu movie empire were laid. The audio-visual entertainment medium of television was taking the island by storm. Directors looking to strike jade took stylistic cues from Ming Dynasty-era China (1300s-1600s) and stories from a new generation of writers free of communist constraint. Most Scripts involved characters with mystical powers on long journeys to save loved-ones or get revenge for the untimely death of said loved ones. Littering these melodramatic journeys of self-discovery were usually long choreographed martial-arts fight sequences that always ended in someone spitting blood, uttering curses, and generally admitting they got served. The Chinese viewing public was eating it up ! ‘Course when you have a bazillion people all buying TVs and only a handful of directors making one or two movies a year you got a prob bob… So, studios began to sprout like shittake mushrooms with the sole purpose of pumping out as much watchable product as possible in the least amount of time. The most famous of which, the Shaw Brothers Studio (actually based in Singapore) could fire off five a week !!!
How good could a movie made in a couple of days be you ask…?
Freakin amazing….
See, the thing is you can’t judge any Hong Kong martial arts flick by the standards of movies today, which have mystical things called “filming schedules”, “casting”, and “budgets”… Nah man, some of these movies were made for pennies, scripts ad libbed, and actors taken from whomever may have been standing around. The films were (and still are) of terrible visual quality, and all share a trademark light yellow-ish haze that makes everything seem like it’s being viewed through the bleary cataracts of a 80 year old Rastafarian. Thankfully, despite such limitations, fearless Chinese directors soldiered on, convinced that their beloved yet slightly ridiculous art form would continue to find a larger audience. And in 1971 they got their wish…
Enter The Dragon
Bruce Lee hit both Chinese and western theaters in 1971 starring in Raymond Chow’s The Big Boss, and later in Fists of Fury (1972).
The success of these two martial arts masterpieces turned Lee into an international superstar, and has been rumored to have caused Atlantis to sink into the ocean… Okay, I may have made up that last bit, but you get how much they rocked !
Lee had it all, good looks, lightning quick moves (he actually had to slow down his movements while filming to allow us all to gawk), and he could speak English ! This former Green Hornet co-star knew what N. American audiences were after, and aimed to mix the big-budget American action flick, with the stylistic elements of Chinese Martial Arts. So, for his next picture Way of the Dragon, Lee took the roll of writer, director, and star to make sure his vision of the perfect east-meets-west blockbuster was spot-on. Almost to symbolize this unity of culture was Lee’s co-star and cinematic rival for the film Chuck Norris, who engages Lee in a fight to the death in the Roman Colosseum at the end. I can still remember the yin and yang of a shirtless, tightly-coiled Bruce Lee opposite an equally shirtless pasty-white Chuck, sporting the reddest chest hair ever seen on film. It was really weird, but kind of mesmerizing…
Though equally blinded by Chuck Norris’ chest, Warner Bros. decided it was time to open the floodgates between East ‘n West and made a deal with Raymond Chow’s Golden Harvest production Co. to co-produce Lee’s next movie. Bigger, Badder, Louder, Faster, Blacker, Punchier, and kickier than anything ever made, Enter The Dragon hit the streets in 1973 to universal praise and reports of people wetting themselves with sheer joy. Grossing billions of dollars and influencing action films for the next three decades, this movie almost single-handedly began North America’s obsession with Chinese martial arts, and Asian cinema in general.
Unbelievably, six days before the movie opened world-wide, Bruce Lee died of mysterious circumstances…. the dude was just 33… OoooooEeeeeeeOooooo… His influence on modern cinema was incalculable.
Thanks to Lee , North American audiences were hooked, and looking to the east for more of… well… whatever the heck that was…? Fung Ku…? no wait, Kung Fu…? Just what does that all mean ? and where can I get some more ?
THE 1970’s : “Bruceploitation” and The Golden Age of Shaolin
After Bruce Lee’s death, both American and Chinese markets were flooded with a backlog of 1960’s Wuxia films quickly slapped onto VHS, and a new breed of shameless Lee-imitating flicks aimed at cashing in on the former titan’s name. Casting Lee lookalikes in the starring roles and using almost lawsuit-inducing screen aliases like “Bruce Li”, “Bruce Lei”, and “Dragon Lee” was enough to make some serious cash for the major Hong Kong studios like the Shaw Bros.
Sporting all the aesthetic flaws of the 1960s original Wuxia films, these poorly duplicated, and even more poorly dubbed reproductions became essential parts of American culture. They were the atypical 1970s action movie, sandwiched in with a B-grade science fiction, or a campy Blaxploitation flick as part of a midnight double feature. Literally thousands of movies were made between 1971-1977 all dedicated to the ancient Chinese art of cheaply-made, shiny distraction.
One Bruce Lee nockoff flick was New Fist Of Fury (1976) which starred a very talented former Bruce Lee stunt man named Jackie Chan. Though he was promoted as the next Bruce Lee, Chan’s fighting style was much different, more theatrical and acrobatic than Lee’s very focused, solid style. In fact, in the post Bruce Lee hysteria, many new styles of martial arts were appearing in Hong Kong, and therefore on the chipped and faded drive-in billboards of N. America. Martial arts we’re just the mystical domain of the wuxia of the 1960s anymore, anyone could learn ‘em.
Ancient styles of martial arts were dusted off and put on-screen to add variety to the constant grind of same actors, same plot. “Kung Fu” was the word on the streets of Hong Kong…
“Say, your not too bad at kung fu, maybe some day I’ll teach your teeth a thing or two !“
- Return of the Kung Fu Dragon
The ancient Chinese martial arts of Wushu and Kung Fu (or Gong Fu) took center stage during the later half of the grindhouse 70s. Based on historical evidence of myriad styles and techniques for defending, attacking, Avoiding, and generally beating the bejeezus out of an enemy. These styles of martial arts had been passed down through generations, each teacher with his or her own style of fighting. In the movies it became important to showcase each character’s style of Kung Fu and how it stacked up against equally savvie martial artists. Hong Kong Directors started choosing masters of various techniques to play leading roles (sometimes regardless of acting ability) and showcasing their style against a wide range of opponents. An excellent example, and pioneer of the genre is the Shaw Bros. director Chang Cheh, and his best known film Five Deadly Venoms (1978).
It was the golden age baby, Immortalized by Carl Douglas’ song Kung Fu Fighting !!!
The most famous of the cinematic styles of Kung Fu were the Shaolin styles, developed by monks in the Henan province of China. These dudes developed advanced offshoots from the traditional Kung Fu styles based on the movements of animals, the changing of the seasons, and the deities of Mahayana Buddhism. More Kung Fu movies reference Shaolin, or Shaolin styles of fighting than any other. The image of the peaceful Buddhist monk pushed too far by villains, forced to unleash animal-inspired, well-choreographed beatdowns seems to have an honored place in the hearts and imaginations of all martial arts audiences (made famous by Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon, but perfected by Jet Li in Shaolin Temple in 1982). the usually non-violent monks loved to prove that their style was superior to any other in the great Shaolin Vs. Ninja series and Shaolin Vs. Lama series.
“Come on back if you want some more! If you want some more, then come on back!”
- Quincey (Black Belt Jones, 1974)
Kung Fu and Blaxploitation films were forever twisted cousins due to their co-billings at movie theater double-features. Black audiences seemed to relate to the plight of the workin’ man of the east, and were among the biggest fans of the martial arts genre. Inbreeding between these cousins was inevitable, and soon Kung Fu Blaxploitation flicks were delivering their own brand of bad-mutha-martial arts to the man !!! Sucka… Some of the best and blackest of the sub-genre are Black Belt Jones (1974), TNT Jackson (1975), and the awesomely named Jive Turkey (1974).
The Kung Fu genre had started to lose steam by the end of the 70s, but still maintained sales as the style changed into the more polished action films of the 80s. Guys like Chuck Norris, Jet Li and Jackie Chan went on to hone their individual styles in Hollywood releases, while Hong Kong cinema continued as it had always done.
There is something special about the movies that washed ashore from Hong Kong in the 60s ‘n 70s. Something warm, soothing and exotic like a fine jasmine tea, something beyond just nostalgia. Maybe it’s the campy, dubbed dialog and “THWACK” sounds that emanate from every movement that make us laugh, or the glimpses into everyday Chinese life (communal family meals always get me fuzzy inside). It could be the fact that you can sit down and watch a Kung Fu movie, or just pop one on for background noise and do something else. It’s non-intrusive, slightly silly cinema that is at the same time completely foreign to us, but also an essential part of North American pop-culture.
You can argue that if you’ve seen one Kung Fu movie, you’ve seen ‘em all… and there may be some truth to that, but I still get a kick (no pun, I swear) out of seeing wiry Chinese guys fly through the air and match their Drunken Monk Kung Fu style against the evil boss and his poison mantis style. WAAAAATAAAAHHHH !!!! Besides, I have a short attention span… Maybe I have seen this one before…?
Click on over to my Essential Kung Fu Movie List (1960s-1970s) to get the skinny on Chow Yun Fat (oh that was brilliant)
Much Love…
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