The Avengers Movie Assembles!

Posted by | on November 12, 2008

Is it really possible to pack a single movie with all the talent, story and special effects necessary to do justice to Marvel Comic’s greatest super hero team: The Avengers? Find out who’s fighting who and my top 5 picks for character cameos in 2011.

Unless you’ve suffered a Triffids-related spurt of blindness recently (along with deafness and general anti-social-er-ness) you’ve probably noticed that comic book superheroes have taken over our movie theaters. Every couple of months another movie hits the big screens featuring characters and stories from Marvel comics, DC, or whatever else was around after my childhood ended. And people (myself included) are eating it up! Some are even getting that not-quite-margarine stuff from the snack bar on top and then eating it up!

It’s becoming the biggest and most lucrative genre in film, attracting big name actors and actresses in leading roles, and generating massive cash in ticket sales, merchandise and DVD sales. More money means sequels, hell, every successful comic movie HAS to have at leastĀ  three movie installments. The Blade series was cool and made lots of money. The Spiderman series was cooler and flashier and made more money. The Dark Knight was so cool and made such mad money that dollar bills are actually being put into circulation with Batman’s face on ‘em.

I for one think it’s freakin cool too see our childhood heroes and villains come to big shiny life. Well, they did kinda screw up the Fantastic Four…. but they were so vanilla, no-body liked ‘em anyway. Now there is always a twitch of doubt in me that the super-genre will become so bloated and convoluted (much like the early 90s DC Multiverse) that it’s heart and sense of fun will collapse under it’s own weight like old Elvis did on the can.

Take for example the phenomenon that is now, right now, taking place in the Marvel super hero movie franchise. The last two flicks, Iron Man and the Hulk were fantastically entertaining, very high quality movies, and yep, they made enough money to buy Stan Lee the whole Southern Hemisphere. A bald, eye-patched Samuel L. Jackson raps a brief skit with Robert Downey Jr. after the credits of Iron Man roll, and informs him that he (Nick Fury) and S.H.I.E.L.D. needs his armour-plated help. Then, Downey Jr. crashes the last scene of the Hulk movie to indicate that he and his associates are “putting a team together” and they are interested in getting some pumped-up, possibly green, backup.

By Krom I thought, they’re trying to fuse Marvel’s Blockbuster movie universes into one giant SUPER MOVIE !!!

So it didn’t take more than a couple seconds of fanboy hyperventilation to pass before I had checked the movie blog scene and sure enough, everyone seemed to be thinking the same damn thing : The Avengers.

Time to nerd out : The Avengers are a team of superheroes that started in the Golden Age of the early 60s under the moniker of “Earth’s Mightiest Heroes”. The team has included such legendary comic heroes as Captain America, Iron Man, the Hulk, Spiderman, Thor and have made appearances in pretty much every single Marvel comic series at one time or another. This army of super-people have spend 40 years recruiting, beating-up, or encountering literally every single character in the Marvel universe and beyond. And now Hollywood is gonna give us the whole cosmic burrito on the big screen to devour in an hour and a half ? Now you can see where I’m a little skeptical… But don’t lose heart true believers, let’s examine the facts.

Avengers Movie Facts Assemble !

  • The stage had been set for The Avengers after the conclusion of both Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk movies. Both Robert Downey Jr. and Edward Norton are looking good for sequels, and the rumours of an Avenger’s movie starts taking shape.
  • Marvel comics haveĀ  made a deal with Paramount Studios to distribute their next five flicks, and hot dang ! They are moving fast to fill the Avengers roster! Check the Article HERE.
  • A Thor movie is set for release July 16th 2010.
  • Captain America follows May 6th 2011, there is no word on casting for either movie.
  • Screenwriter Zak Penn is hired to write the script for an Avengers movie, which looks to be released in the far distant future of July 2011. Jon Favreau (director of Iron Man) will be executive producer.
  • Director Joe Johnston (I can’t believe that’s his real name) has been chosen to direct what is now being called The First Avenger: Captain America.

So we know that the Avengers movie lineup will include the dufey-yet-lovable American Icon as leader (hopefully played by Will Smith please?), the billionaire industrialist as devil’s advocate, a Norse Playgirl model with a magic hammer, and according to IGN’s Article the Hulk as their meditationaly-impaired nemesis. Who else will join the team ? Ant Man and The Wasp were the other original members when they first battled the Hulk and Loki waaaaaaaaaay back in issue Numba 1 (Sept. 1963). The Falcon maybe ? How about The Scarlet Witch ? She was pretty cool. Gawd I hope they don’t use Hawkeye… I always thought he was kind of silly.

So yeah, do you think this movie will rock or what…?

It seems like a no-brainer for a summer cash cow: Take at least three HUGE names in Hollywood, let ‘em play out some Nostalgic banter for the fanboys, arm them with the latest CGI and let ‘em loose on each other for an hour and a half of completely mindless awesome. Yeah like I said, the only thing that bugs me is that with such a short time to build story in-between massive special effects battles, that our beloved heroes may not get the development they deserve. I dunno, however it may go, I’m gonna be obsessively collecting the bits of info that dribble from the keyboards of movie blog nerds, and counting down the days till I can watch my childhood heroes scream “Avengers Assemble” on the big screen.

Five Characters I Wanna See In The Avengers Movie

Numba 5 – Loki (played by Cillian Murphy)

Thor’s trouble-making half brother will undoubtedly make an appearance in the Thor movie, but I hope he sticks around to cause more chaos after being beaten by Asgardian beefcake. He was always a classic Avengers villain (taking part in their first adventure), and would be a perfectly scheming foil for the overly-physical group of superheroes. Cillian Murphy (who played the Scarecrow in Batman Begins) has got the perfect evil, twitchy, and enigmatic personality to bring this mischief God to life.

Numba 4 – The Vision (played by Doug Jones and voiced by Hugo Weaving)

The Vision is one of the most prominent Avengers to come out of the 70s, though originally he was a pre-Marvel character that was resurrected and given a face lift. He’s an android who has the ability to fly, shoot beams of Gee-Wiz from his forehead and re-configure the molecules of his body so he can move through walls and people’s vital organs. I always had this idea in my head that this classic Avengers member would be a cross between Christopher Reeve and C3P0 from Star Wars… Really smart, eloquent, Nimble and sporting a bit of an accent.

Numba 3 – She-Hulk (played by Eva Mendez)

Many of the Golden Age heroes are dudes, so the movie has the potential to turn into a complete sausage-fest. What we need a little (or should I say BIG) heroine presence on-screen. Bruce Banner’s cousin Jen gets a transfusion (like just about every character in the Incredible Hulk movie) and turns into a green-skinned female version of the Hulk. Eva’s got the look and the attitude to pull off this wise-cracking ass-kicking amazon, with a little help from some creative camera angles and some green body paint. Watch out Captain Kirk… Rawwwwr.

Numba 2 – The Black Panther (played by Djimon Hounsou)

Also, with so much cosmic this and gamma rays that filling up the roster, it’d be nice to have a couple of people who’s super power is to just plain kick ass. The Black Panther stalked into the Avengers comics around about the same time the Vision did, and became just as integral a character. The king of a fictional African nation, T’Challa is a brilliant humanitarian by day, and a stealthy heroic assassin by night. Hounsou is totally ripped enough to be an action hero, and has that effortless intensity that’ll do justice to one of my favorite superheroes.

Besides, can you imagine how hilarious it’d be when Robert Downey Jr.’s smart ass Iron Man asks ‘Panther to point to his country on a map and all he gets back is a cold stare… Classic.

Numba 1 – Ultron (all CGI baby, voiced by Jeremy Irons)

Maybe I’m old fashioned, but I truly believe that Ultron is THE villain to use in The Avengers movie. He’s got the classic villain bio, and a back-story that’ll easily fit into a feature film (robot goes nuts, wants to kill humans, done). As an added bonus he’s intimately tied to the lives of many of the Avengers already like Ant Man, and The Vision. Jeremy Irons could pass his pure-evil baritone voice through a synthesizer to give it just enough Daft Punk crackle ‘n pop, and you’ve got one intimidating reason why humans shouldn’t play God.

Much love.

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One Response to “The Avengers Movie Assembles!”

  1. AvatarNostalgiaholic

    The upcoming Thor movie will take place completely in the mythological world of Asgard, with only the ending hinting at the classic Donald Blake-Thor storyline we older nerds know and love. Plus Kennith Branagh will act-in and direct ? WTF ?
    Read it all up in HERE:

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